Post by Frai Kurusa on Mar 15, 2008 9:37:14 GMT 10
So far, school's been wonderful. I love high school to death; it's a huge step from the idiots of junior high. People are nicer and much more accepting of who you are. Well, at least that's how it is in my case. All of my classes are accelerated, and I'm doing well.
However.
Social things? Not so much.
I've been having a horrible time since around the end of freshman year. I started to crush on someone in our marching band, and said person doesn't even really know I exist. Of course, seeing as the relationship if I did indeed pursue it would be weird either way, it's no surprise he has no clue. This doesn't help matters any, though. If anyone on here has ever been in love with someone who could never, ever love you back, it's pretty fucking painful.
Plus the fact that I've told about three people this fact thus far. They have said nothing, which is awesome. But they also know about my sensitivity to homosexual relationships, of which I support, but the fact that they still blatantly make fun of homosexuals to my fucking face doesn't help at all. Makes me feel uncomfortable, but what the fuck else am I supposed to do? Sit there and take it? So I chewed one of 'em out. They're not talking to me. Like it's my fucking fault. When it isn't.
And of course, my being physically inept. That's a whole other ball game. 'Course, that's not gonna matter in the long run, right? Right. But it still hurts. Short term things, shouldn't really matter...but they still do. When every single goddamn person in the gym is laughing at you for not hitting the fucking volleyball right, you'd probably feel like shit too.
So, now I'm physically AND socially inept. Wonderful.
Plus the fact that some dipshit stole my wallet about a week ago. Not fun at all. And then I fucking cry about it. Makes me feel weak, which makes me feel like shit cuz I know it shouldn't. But it does, and then I get even more upset...it's a fucking cycle.
The only place I seem to be halfway accepted is online. Sometimes I feel good on here, but other times I feel slightly left out. So, I might be a bit inactive on any website I'm on. I need to catch up on schoolwork that I've missed from being at my counselor. Sorry. I'll be on as much as I can.
However.
Social things? Not so much.
I've been having a horrible time since around the end of freshman year. I started to crush on someone in our marching band, and said person doesn't even really know I exist. Of course, seeing as the relationship if I did indeed pursue it would be weird either way, it's no surprise he has no clue. This doesn't help matters any, though. If anyone on here has ever been in love with someone who could never, ever love you back, it's pretty fucking painful.
Plus the fact that I've told about three people this fact thus far. They have said nothing, which is awesome. But they also know about my sensitivity to homosexual relationships, of which I support, but the fact that they still blatantly make fun of homosexuals to my fucking face doesn't help at all. Makes me feel uncomfortable, but what the fuck else am I supposed to do? Sit there and take it? So I chewed one of 'em out. They're not talking to me. Like it's my fucking fault. When it isn't.
And of course, my being physically inept. That's a whole other ball game. 'Course, that's not gonna matter in the long run, right? Right. But it still hurts. Short term things, shouldn't really matter...but they still do. When every single goddamn person in the gym is laughing at you for not hitting the fucking volleyball right, you'd probably feel like shit too.
So, now I'm physically AND socially inept. Wonderful.
Plus the fact that some dipshit stole my wallet about a week ago. Not fun at all. And then I fucking cry about it. Makes me feel weak, which makes me feel like shit cuz I know it shouldn't. But it does, and then I get even more upset...it's a fucking cycle.
The only place I seem to be halfway accepted is online. Sometimes I feel good on here, but other times I feel slightly left out. So, I might be a bit inactive on any website I'm on. I need to catch up on schoolwork that I've missed from being at my counselor. Sorry. I'll be on as much as I can.